The Long and Winding Road
by jessicarocket
Summary: During a sleepless night, Jessie reflects on her past and wonders about her future.


Hello again! This fic is set after "Performing a Pathway to the Future!" and is heavy on the Jessie feels. And of course, the title is from a Beatles song because I love to combine my favorite things ;)

I hope you enjoy!

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Jessie stared at the ceiling, slowly memorizing patterns in the tiles and the way they mixed with faint shadows from the street lights outside the hotel window. Her mind churned despite her best efforts to silence it and she felt as though she had been in this same sleepless position for hours. Lifting her head to glance at the alarm clock, a bold, red 2:50AM glared back at her. So, it truly _had_ been hours.

Slumping back into her pillow, she let out a disgruntled sigh as her gaze fixated on the ceiling yet again. There was a peaceful stillness about the town, and the only sounds Jessie could hear were the slow, deep breaths and soft snores of her companions who were piled on the queen-size bed with her. Rolling over gently, she faced her human partner and found herself unable to fight the smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth. Though he was lying on his back, his neck was twisted at an awkward angle with his face turned in her direction. Strands of his hair, deep violet in the darkness, were stuck to his cheek and his mouth hung open in a dopey grin as he drooled on his pillow. Jessie rolled her eyes at the sight, but couldn't help feeling a rush of intense fondness at how serene and endearing he looked in the midst of a peaceful rest. As much as she willed herself to feel disgusted at how unfair it was that he was able to sleep so soundly while she laid wide awake, that feeling remained just outside of her grasp. It was almost as if his happiness mattered more to her than anything else.

Jessie sat up with a jolt, pushing that confusing thought from her mind as quickly as it had entered. With another heavy exhale, she took stock of the pile of pokemon at her feet, looking as tranquil as James did. Sure, it had been a long day for all of them, but if anyone had earned some rest, it was her! While exhaustion weighed heavily on her body, sleep still eluded her.

Jessie's gaze settled on the balcony door as the soft moonlight on the other side beckoned her. _Perhaps a little fresh air will do the trick._

She wriggled out of the sheets and onto her feet as gently as possible so as not to wake any of her companions. The last thing she needed was more clutter in her head from the inevitable conversations that would take place if they awoke and saw her going outside. She needed peace and quiet right now. Thankfully, the stealth she had honed throughout their missions in Unova paid off as she tiptoed across the carpet and slipped through the sliding door with hardly a sound.

A cool breeze greeted her the moment she stepped onto the balcony. Slumping into one of the wicker chairs and curling her knees into her chest, Jessie closed her eyes for a moment and savored a pleasant floral smell she couldn't quite identify. All was quiet, save for the sound of the rustling wind and the hum of nincada. Jessie briefly lost herself in the serenity before opening her eyes and scanning the skyline of downtown Gloire City. The buildings sparkled in the moonlight, creating a picturesque scene that almost seemed too perfect to be real.

Though Kalos hadn't always been kind to her and her teammates, Jessie couldn't help but feel a deep fondness toward the region. Along this particular journey, she had undergone unprecedented growth not only as a performer, but as a person in general. She thought back to her days in Hoenn, when she rekindled her love for contests yet found nothing but failure at every turn. With a cringe, she recalled a few moments when she had taken her frustration and discouragement out on her teammates. When they set foot in Sinnoh with the promise of a clean slate and a brand new adventure, Jessie vowed to learn from her previous mistakes and reinvent herself as a coordinator. The ribbons she earned were the first tastes of success she had ever experienced, making her loss in the Grand Festival all the more devastating. She frowned as she recalled the moment she threw away her Jessilina costume along with her hopes and dreams of becoming Top Coordinator. She was so consumed by her disappointment, she had completely lost sight of how far she had come.

But today, in the Kalos Master Class, everything changed. The moment she heard the semifinals results leave Pierre's mouth, she was faced with a choice. When the path of channeling losses and failures into rage and bitterness was incredibly familiar and comfortable, Jessie chose to instead venture down a path she had never even considered. She was suddenly able to see the silver lining and focus on her success, rather than falling into the tunnel vision of pessimism. She had outright earned princess keys through her own skills, talents, and beauty. Those very assets carried her all the way to the semifinals of the Master Class and made a name for her throughout Kalos. In that moment, Jessie decided to let go of the pain that years of misfortune had etched into her heart. In its place, she allowed genuine pride in her accomplishments to grow and flourish.

As the breeze continued to drift, so did Jessie's mind. With the Master Class behind her, she felt an odd sense of emptiness sinking in. The night had been filled with a whirlwind of celebrations, and until they had reached the hotel and her teammates fell asleep, she'd been riding the adrenaline high and had little time to focus on anything else. Now, in the quiet of the night, there was no escaping the question that plagued her mind: _What now?_

Contests and showcases had become Jessie's escape from her mundane and often depressing reality. She could push through days without decent meals and the infinite loop of bungled missions when she had something glamorous to look forward to. The uncertainty of what the weeks ahead would look like without rehearsals and performances to occupy her focus left Jessie with an comfortable pit in her stomach. When she tried to label the emotion, the closest thing she could settle on was that it felt as though she was losing an important piece of herself.

With nothing else to occupy her thoughts, Jessie was forced to face something she had been avoiding for months. Team Rocket had been everything to her for so long, yet she found herself increasingly disinterested and apathetic toward their missions. Though she hadn't put a great deal of thought into the details of her future plans when she joined all those years ago, she always had a clear picture of what she wanted most in life. Love. A good-looking and wealthy spouse who treated her like the queen she'd always been. A life with comfort and stability. Yet there she was, chasing a brat and his electric rat all over the globe as she only grew older by the day. What was the end goal? And how did something that was once such an important part of her identity lose its luster? Was there anything else out there for her?

When her thoughts reached their deepest point, Jessie was roughly yanked back to the surface by a pair of hands making contact with her shoulders. She hadn't expected any company and her first impulse was to tense and prepare to defend herself. However, she quickly recognized a familiar scent as the hands gently wrapped a blanket around her.

Tilting her head just enough to catch a glimpse of lavender and green, she relaxed into James' embrace.

"Don't ever sneak up on me like that again," she spat, more out of embarrassment over her reaction than anything else.

"Sorry, Jess. I thought you heard my open the door. I didn't mean to scare you." The gentleness in his voice was a soothing in a way that mystified her.

Jessie continued to study the downtown skyline as James moved to sit next to her. She could tell from the corner of his eye that he was watching her carefully.

After a few quiet moments, he broke the silence. "Can't sleep?"

"Unfortunately, no. I think maybe I'm just still on an adrenaline high from the showcase." Though she felt slightly guilty for hiding her true feelings from her best friend, she wasn't quite ready to share the details of her existential crisis with anyone outside of her own head.

The look on his face made her suspect he could see through her charade, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. While the thought of having someone instinctively know what she needed without having to verbalize those things was appealing, it was also terrifying. And if anyone had ever gotten even remotely close to reading her mind, it was James.

Jessie felt his arm slide around her back as he leaned his head against hers. Her eyelids suddenly felt heavy as his warmth wrapped around her. Just as she felt herself finally beginning to dose off, she was brought back to consciousness by a soft whisper against the top of her head.

"I'm so proud of you, Jessica. You've come so far and your future is so bright."

A lump formed in her throat as the threat of tears stung her eyes. _Proud of me?_ She couldn't think of another time someone had said those words to her and never realized how badly she'd needed to hear them until now.

Turning slightly to get a better look at his face, she found herself uncharacteristically speechless at the sincerity in his expression. It was laced with a mix of something else, but she couldn't quite put her finger on what it was.

As his eyes sparkled and he tightened his hold around her shoulders, she suddenly identified his expression. It was deep adoration. It was _love._ How long had those feelings been shining in his eyes? How had she missed it until now?

Without allowing herself an opportunity to second guess the decision, she crushed her lips against his and kissed him with everything she had. The startled yelp he emitted forced a soft giggle from her, breaking their contact and forcing them to gauge each other's reaction. Jessie was pleased to see James mirroring her grin as his eyes worshipped her in a way that he hadn't yet found the courage to verbalize. Slowly, both sets of eyes fell shut as their lips met again.

Somehow, that white tomorrow didn't seem quite as distant anymore.


End file.
